Two things that should not be placed in close proximity of each other: Michael Bay and camera. It is almost unthinkable that anyone could make a boring movie of Transformers. But that’s just what Bay has done.
Transformers is mind-numbingly boring, consisting largely of many, many minutes of annoying humans talking and talking and talking and … yes, you wish the Autobots would just break their self-imposed rule of not killing humans and just pulverize these puny beings on screen.
It’s a big mistake to make the humans the main characters of the story. We all know how Bay is with characters – caricatures at best, racial stereotypes at worst. And that’s what we get here. Quite a few racial stereotypes and a bunch of bad actors hamming it up for no good reason, while Bay tries to inject extremely lame comedy into the scenes which are supposed to "establish" the characters.
We came to see the robots, Michael Bay, so give us the fucking robots!
But no, he teases us with a few transformations, glimpses here and there. And when the big moment finally comes – the arrival of the Autobots – we get … more talking with the puny humans!
But later, we come to understand why this is so. It’s a story that gives humanity too much credit, that despite our tendencies for great destruction, we’re also very capable of great heroism. Right. And in the absolute worst moments of the film, it takes shots at the Iranians, the Chinese and the Russians, and goes for Bush-friendly lines like "Freedom is the right of every sentient being" or something to that effect. Not surprising, since this is the guy who made the awful Bad Boys II, which has its ending in, of all places, Guantanamo.
And the action? I’m tempted to say "What action?" Nothing really happens until the last moments of the film, and the action is the usual disappointing bunch of blurry, shaky nonsense done further damage by choppy, steroid-enhanced editing. We came to see robots fight, but Bay gives us an absolute auto-wreck in which it’s hard to distinguish just who’s fighting who, or even what’s exactly happening on screen. But by the last half hour, my brain had gone into auto-pilot and my eyes had given up trying to follow the messy action. You can also fault that on the over-designed robots.
At this point I must quote John Boorman, who coined the term "new brutalism" to contrast the new kind of action sequences that we now see much too often, consisting of fast cuts and action going out of frame, with the more classical style of action. In fact, I think if you were to time the action sequences in Transformers, each cut probably doesn’t last more than 1.5 seconds.
It was Boorman who said the new brutalism "is a form of naivete, because it’s made by people who I think don’t really have a grasp of cinema’s history. It’s the MTV kind of editing, where the main idea is that the more disorienting it is, the more exciting. And you see it creeping into mainstream cinema more and more. You look at something like Armageddon and you see all the things that would have been forbidden in classical cinema, like crossing the line, camera jumping from side to side. It is a way to artificially generate excitement but it doesn’t really have any basis to it. And I find it kind of sad, because it’s like an old man trying to dress like a teenager."
I couldn’t agree more.
This is a case of the trailer being much better than the film, and promising much more than what is delivered by the actual film. Bay should have learned something from the original cartoon series or even the animated film, at least in regard to what should be the focus of the story. Instead, he’s much too busy orchestrating military action and trying to make Jon Voight be in his most official and most Rumsfeld, while completely wasting a great talent like John Turturro. But then again, Bay has never been good with characterization and actors anyway.
Maybe Bay should just stick to making military recruitment videos, since he’s so adept at magic-hour shots of military aircraft and personnel, moving in slow-motion or otherwise, making it all look so cool and stylish. There are so many of these shots in the movie that you might just begin to wonder if some of them are stock footage or scenes cut out from his other films that are recycled here. Even when it’s totally unnecessary, he slips some in with pulsing, official-sounding music.
Let’s face it, Michael Bay is cliché, and cliché is Michael Bay. And what we have here is a cliché-ridden adaptation of one of the most beloved cartoon series that misplaces its concerns and completely squanders what could have been a timely live-action revival for Optimus Prime and gang. Instead, we get a yawn-inducing and overlong meditation on how great humanity is, so much so that powerful alien robots think we’re so worth saving that they’re ready to put their lives on the line for us.
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Great. Thanks for ruining that for me.
But then again I thought Bad Boys 2 was entertaining and The Island was the best thing he's ever done. I was hoping that he was on some kind of winning streak.
I pretty much knew that the human characters were going to be the central of the story and I completely understand why. How can you make a movie with robots without shutting the audience out or it being too far fetched for them. How would you make a conversation scene with robots? How would you build their character? The audience, i.e. folks who have either never seen Transformers or doesn't give a rats ass about it, doesn't buy in to Robots having some sort of dialog or personality. It's also very hard to give a robot a personality. Is it a joker? Cynical? A hard ass? Make a slightest mistake and you end up making it just like the source material, a kids cartoon. The audience wants bad ass robots who don't say much but rather kick all the more ass.
I'm sure that if this does well enough we will get a sequel that will focus more on the robots, aka robot fighting.
The Visitor:
You are completely right. I will give credit to Michael Bay for consistently making expensive movies and leading army of crew members and actors in making these action films. It is not easy to be a leader of men in an ultra-stressful environment in which your job is to deliver a profit-making blockbuster every time you are on a director's chair.
However, as a filmmaker and as an artist, Michael Bay is no better than a porn director. Predictable MTV-style editing and camera shaking from left to right, up and down, shots cutting and jumping all around, and cliche-character development. Bay should be banned.
jandrew and Adam need to be immediately neutered.
Take this review with barely a grain of salt. That's what I'm doing. We're in the midst of the Summer movie season, and most everything has been disappointing. I'm looking for a big spectacle of a movie, with good CG and shit blowing up. Michael Bay never disappoints in that regard. What, did you expect Shakespeare?
Case -
What, you think there's an even better slapstick comedy made by bloodthirsty fascists out there?
Don't hold out on us, man!
Interestingly, I've anticipated only Spider-Man 3 and Secret Sunshine more than this. The first teaser trailer made me gasp. This is review-proof, although "boring" is one thing that worries me quite a bit.
Complaining about a Michael Bay movie having fast editing and cardboard cut out characters is like saying the characters in a woody allen movie talk too much.
Bay clearly has a style that he's ran with since bad boys, feel free to skip the film and watch any number of films out there made by directors who know about subtilty and depth. Summer action movies are for the most part mindless entertainment, anything ontop of that is a bonus.
As long as there's no random musical sequence half way through I'm happy.
"Freedom is the right of all sentient beings" is a famous line from the cartoon. No need to drag George W. Bush into it.
I agree with Rahat. Boring? Ouch!
I just finished writing my comment on the first transformer review (the positive one, a few posts down) and then suddenly I see this! Bummer, as I tend to trust The Visitor...
How can you not mention super hottie on the rise Megan Fox?!?That woman just screams sex and she alone is worth seeing this for.
Yeah, I thought it was a terrible movie. Crushingly stupid, with an inane plot, the worst dialogue in many a year and cardboard characters.
I appreciate it is a film for little kids, but so are the Pixar films and they seem to have no trouble being intelligent. Since when did blockbusters have to be moronic?
hmm boring? This contradicts everything put on Rotten Tomatoes right now. If there is anything in common with all the reviews out right now, it is not boring.
unfortunately...this isn't the great movie i was hoping it to be.
*beware spoilers*
Continuity issues, Autobots pissing on humans humorusly(which made me almost want to leave), blurry fight scenes, and HORRIBLE dialog. The comic edge they tried to give the movie fails miserably.
It pains me to see such a great franchise of my youth fail to meet expectations(AS IT WILL! This review is going to be just one of many to come I feel).
-But yes. Megan Fox is definately worth watching this movie for if anything. Daaaamn.
I dont think any more is worth watching just for the eye candy..
I thought the same thing about Fantastic Four 1 to see Jessica Alba in a tight lyrca suit would be enough but sadly this was not enough to make the movie worthwhile..
You can go see Megan Fox right now on the Internet without paying $12 bucks to go watch this movie.
Also in my previous comments I meant to say movies are subjective.. not subjectional. I am not even sure if thats even a word
and sorry for the double post
Calvin,
Thank you.
if you get bored, you can always play count the product placement
Just for the record...Bad Boys 2 was a horrible disaster. Are we to believe that two cops from Miami can take on the whole Guantanamo Army with a few friends and get out alive. Michael Bay is an egotistical action director with too much money and not enough knowledge about film history. But, what do you expect from someone that got his start directing music videos for the likes of Donnie Osmond and Wilson Phillips? I loved Transformers as a kid and rememeber being in awe with the cartoon movie, especially when you hear a kids cartoon speak brutality and words like, "Damn." So, I'll keep that memory and maybe buy the bootleg of the Michael Bay disaster-piece from a homeless guy on the corner.
There are only two possible explanations for jandrew's love of Bad Boys 2.
1) He has at some point in the past undergone a lobotomy.
2) He has never seen any other action movie except Bad Boys 2.
Visitor, your review sucks. Seriously, if you want to sound like a smart-ass, quoting what's-his-face about "new brutalism" then go write a thesis paper. Man, this is twitch, not an application form for a master's degree.
Concerning your opinion about the Transformers movie, well, why don't you just keep it to yourself. You obviously can't appreciate a movie that was simply made to entertain and not to be analyzed for film class.
"Believe what you read everywhere else."
What I've read everywhere else are wildly split reviews. Some love it, some hate it. So how am I supposed to believe what I've read everywhere else?!?!?!?!
I think someone sent the link to this review to Michael Bay's immediate family members. :-D
Ah well, GI Joe as a cartoon was hella better then Transformers anyways.
great review! i really don't think you should let a film off the hook because it was 'simply made to entertain'.
By far the best cinema experience this year! The movie rocks! End of story!
Blah,
Bad Boys 2 has MORE action in just one of it's racist, homoerotic, TOENAILS from a cadaver filled with ecstasy, dumped from a druglord's Hearst, fleeing Martin Lawrence and Will Smith in a Cadillac stolen from Dan Marino, than you'll ever know in your feeble film viewing life.
xo
lol, yo guys.. anyone would think you are debating whether military action against Iran for proliferation of nuclear weapons!
THe whole point of a review is to post your opinion about a movie. Bagging someone for doing that shows either a very low intellect or an argumentative streak that no-one likes.
Thanks to the posters of their opinions.. haven't seen the film yet, still will but go in with a lowered expectation having grown up with the FIRST and BEST cartoon series of Transformers in the early 80's.
I would agree that some movies are made purely for entertainments sake and therefore should escape a lot of the ire of citics..but at the same time to critique a director who is paid mega dollars is par for the course!
i live in australia and saw the movie on friday it rocked forget this review its a pile of crap. sit down and enjoy ureself u won't be bored trust me.
I went to see the movie yesterday, pre-release.
Man! What a utter piece of garbage that was! I feel mentally raped. The word BASE has gotten a new meaning. The weirdest thing that struck me was the openly blatant racism. Add to that the consitently juvenile jokes / racist? humor that made all the W.O.W. nerds screech in happiness, and made me want to puncture my tympanum whilst burning my eyes out.
But the most annoying part was ofcourse the LACK of action (REALLY!!!). I wouldn't have believed it myself if someone told me BEFORE I went to this movie. The trailer REALLY is all there is, the rest is 2 hours of mental rape made by Bay and Spielberg. Just like the author I went in, HOPING that I would be engraced with a funny action movie with some cool effects. The signs where there, I chose to ignore them. I paid the price in 2 long hours of a movie almost as bad as the hulk.
The UNJUSTIFIABLE army recruitment propaganda. They have a lot of nerve in hollywood still making pro neo-con / army movie such as this in these times of unjust wars and failing US. policies / economy. Riefenstahl would have turned in her grave and cried.
This pathetic piece of garbage instantly reminded me of dr. strangelove, idiocricy, a brave new world. Futile warnings from a time already long gone. Welcome to oblivion.
Love this movie..the best movie so far i have seen this year!!
MAN WHAT ARE YOU FOOLS TALKING ABOUT! this movie rocked, i just got out of the cinema like an hour ago and it's the first time in a long time i've left the cinema on a true high.. i got into my 180sx and was kinda wishing for it to transform into some kickass robot and start talking to me lol!
awsome movie! heaps of action, and i don't think it was all that racist.. i'm from australia maybe i don't pick up on all the "racial stereotypes" you guys are babbling on about, if there's one movie you go and checkout on the big screen, this should be it!!
cheers,
Mik
Fantastic. I had to walk out on this movie, only to come home and read mostly praising reviews.
Kudos to you sane person.
Sir, I would really question whether you're proffessional enough to review this movie. In my view you are plain "BIAS" on Michael Bay rather on the movie itself.
Please also consider that "TRANSFORMERS" are based on japan original anime, so do not blame on the story line created.
I hope you can review more proffessionally in the future rather than being bias.
i agree w/ edwin- this review argued the point that "michael bay sucks", "all of michael bay's movies suck", and the reviewer mistook actual quotes from the cartoon as political humor/jabs at george w (?). no real reasoning behind anything it seems other than a personal bias or dislike of the director. my $0.02.
I aint seen this film yet as I have to wait til the 28th fer UK release, and these reviews do not bode well, at all. I have never been looking forward to a film so much in my life, and that was the first review I've read, not so much a review, but more of a general slating of Michael Bay! I was expecting a review! The film is about cars n trucks turning into big robots from another planet?!? WTF were you expecting? If you wanna impress someone with your quotations n witty critique style do it somewhere else. This film is gonna rock!!
Congratulations. We've managed to make discussion over a CARTOON turned movie political. Honestly, I haven't seen the movie, I have no idea whether it sucks or not. But, seriously, you used a review of Transformers to make a political jab at George W., and then spent half the article flaming the director because of OTHER movies. I did see the preview and thought the special effects were superb. Regardless... With movies based on comics you have to expect 3 things:
1. Damned good special effects
2. Under par acting (regardless of the acting calibur)
the scripts usually prohibit it, and oh yeah... IT USED TO BE COMIC
3. Lots and lots of cliches.... usually steming from the era of the original comic/ cartoon (anyone remember the political climate of the '80's)
But that doesn't mean I haven't found these movies enjoyable. They are what they are, and they shouldn't pretend to be anything else.
This year in sequels has been an utter disappointment. It will at least be refreshing to have something new in front of my eyes.
I saw a preview of Transformers this past Thursday. I went in with some preconceptions such as how good can a movie based on a late 80's cartoon actually be? Especially considering that it was going to be live action.
Michael Bay films have always been "Just OK" to me. But lets face it, I didn't come to see a Michael Bay film, I came to see Transformers. The movie could have been directed by Rob Reiner and I would still have seen the movie because it's Transformers. Well curiosity DID NOT kill this cat.
I can't say enough of how well the movie works. The special effects are what you would expect from a movie made these days. There are some moments that leave you saying "Cool!!!", but it didn't grab me by the balls like the first time I saw the Matrix and Bullet Time. The action is tremendously fast paced which could leave some movies goers missing out, but that's what DVD's is for.
I came to see robots and I saw robots in all of their transforming glory. I thought the movie did a great job of taking an old childhood idea and transforming it into the present. This movie wasn't meant to win Oscars but to keep you on the edge of your seat. That's exactly where I was.
Given the crap that has come out this year, this movie was more than a pleasure to watch. Even for a second time.
I have to say that I mostly agree with the reviewer. I grew up with Transformers, and understand that you can generally only expect so much from a teen movie based on a kid's toy line. It was fun and I enjoyed it, but realised afterwards there were many things relating to the story line, acting, dialogue, and editing of the film that could have made it much much better. The CGI eye candy however is amazing, so it definitely delivered on that front.
Having said that, and leaving the various merits of Michael Bay's directing style aside, there are certain things that I did expect from a Tranformers movie of this 'teen action' genre. And that is as people have already mentioned, big cool looking robots transforming and exciting action showing the robots fighting. What was delivered was often too fast to take in, too far away or too close. The unrelenting pace of it all eventually forces you to switch your brain off and to stop trying to make sense of it. When I got to that point, I realised that even though I was enjoying the thrill, my brain was actually bored by it all.
Perhaps there were some technical challenges to trying to frame the action of the robots into a human sized environment. Some times it succeeded at that but often it struggled to come across.
Yes there are some great looking action shots, but the action was very blurry and I experienced the feeling of not being able to actually tell what I was looking at many times. The camera shots were so fast and so close up during the fight scenes that it was just a blurry smoky mess, you really don't get to see what robots are doing what to whom while they are fighting.
Basically, there needed to be less humans and more robots. More action, but at a pace that allows it to be seen and enjoyed. Personally I think the movie would have benefited from showing more of the Transformers away from Earth, out in deep space, to make more of their alien/otherwordly origins and perhaps add a little more mystery to the movie. I will watch it again, but when it comes out on DVD so I can enjoy it on a smaller screen and in my own time.
Perhaps that's their trick to make people purchase the movie more than once? I would say definitely go along and enjoy it for what it is, but I can't help feeling that even within the boundaries of it's genre it could have been a lot more.
Since the beggining of this year I've been following closely every aspect of this movie and I must say that the previews are splendid.
Almost nobody in the world will see this flick till july 4, and in other countries several days later.
Let's put the things in perspective:it is very probably the actual movie is a piece of boring scum, but probably not.
I ran into this page almost by accident, and most of the visitors are trying to be objebtive.
I am mexican and live in a city called Puebla and I'm totally agree on how bad Michael Bay can be as a director.
Con air is stupid and boring, Bad Boys 1&2;are the worst of the low,Armaggedon is plain dumb, Pearl Harbor is insulting for all the world starting with the Americans, and The Iland waste two dam good actors.
I agree with all acid Critics so far(I am myself one of you) but you are failing to realise something very important: behind michael Bay in all of his prior films it was pulling the strings a bastard called JERRY BRUCHHEIMER.He's the real guilty of those movies sucked, he even in several interviews have declared:"I would not go to see one of my own movies"
Concerning the so called "racial Issue" if there exists I'll simply ignore it.
I don't know why you people get so carried away by those factors in a movie whose main subjet are giant-alien robots that burn down entire cities.
I only have one advise for those who didn't like the film: wath it once again and well talk later.
Having just seen the movie, my thoughts.
First 30 minutes were promising, the next hour hung in the balance, the last 50 minutes were horrifying.
Wooden dialogue, bad bad acting, even the special effects, when being so obviously mega-millioned, were over done, blurry and confusing, man, I couldn't even tell one robot from the other half the time. As with most American blockbuster summer movies nowadays....really really awful overdone CHEESEY CRINGEMAKING orchestral (synthed) music.
Worst film I've seen in a LONG time, great for kids though, or for brainless really dumb adults (as must be the case having read through these reviews). How anyone above the age of 13 could have actually thought that this was a great movie worries me greatly....it's a bleak future for humanity with brainless dweebs like these.