What's this? Yes, my children, though our very own Ryland Aldrich stated his arguments as to why Fast Five deserves to win the Best Original Screenplay Oscar in February's upcoming extravaganza just last week - arguments I fully endorse and agree with - I am here to present something for your further consideration. Because, in my view, this line between 'Original' and 'Adaptation' is a spurious one at best, and there is no reason why something cannot fit in both categories. Yes, Fast Five deserves your consideration as Best Adapted Screenplay.
I can hear the arguments now, just as I heard them then. They go something like this: Fast Five should only be considered for Best Adapted Screenplay because it is a sequel and the Academy says sequels aren't original. Well, to that I say piffle. And piffle a second time. If the original is original then declaring a story unoriginal because it happens to continue outside the bounds of a single film is just silly. Continue on this topic and I may even need to throw in a poppycock.
No, Fast Five is not an adaptation because it is a sequel. Nor is it adapted from a book or a play or some other literary source. No, Fast Five is something far more impressive. Fast Five has been adapted from real life.
To understand what I mean I need you to take a step back from the storied franchise and put the fast cars out of your mind entirely. I need you to think big picture. Consider, if you will, what Fast Five is about on the largest possible terms. This, friends, is a movie in which a man who has named himself after a type of fuel (Vin Diesel) and a man who has named himself after a type of geography which frequently covers fuel (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) join forces to travel into South America and rob another sovereign nation of their resources simply to make a point. A big America, Fuck Yeah point.
Do you see it? Do you see what writer Chris Morgan has done here? He has taken the glossy, candy coated exterior of the Fast franchise and used it to mask a cleverly disguised satire of American foreign policy. He has turned candy into a vegetable, people, and turned a movie ostensibly about fast cars into something good for you. He has educated America's Heartland about their shoddy international practices without anyone even noticing. Pay close enough attention and I'm pretty certain you'll see some secret School Of The Americas handshakes in there and, good God, I'm pretty certain I spotted Ollie North lurking in the background of a few shots.
So there you have it, folks. It's time to end this arbitrary division of "Original" and "Adapted" and the way to do it is to give both awards to a single film. Fast Five for Best Adapted Screenplay.
[Support the Fast Five Oscar Watch: Tweet the hashtag #ConsiderFast5]
I can hear the arguments now, just as I heard them then. They go something like this: Fast Five should only be considered for Best Adapted Screenplay because it is a sequel and the Academy says sequels aren't original. Well, to that I say piffle. And piffle a second time. If the original is original then declaring a story unoriginal because it happens to continue outside the bounds of a single film is just silly. Continue on this topic and I may even need to throw in a poppycock.
No, Fast Five is not an adaptation because it is a sequel. Nor is it adapted from a book or a play or some other literary source. No, Fast Five is something far more impressive. Fast Five has been adapted from real life.
To understand what I mean I need you to take a step back from the storied franchise and put the fast cars out of your mind entirely. I need you to think big picture. Consider, if you will, what Fast Five is about on the largest possible terms. This, friends, is a movie in which a man who has named himself after a type of fuel (Vin Diesel) and a man who has named himself after a type of geography which frequently covers fuel (Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) join forces to travel into South America and rob another sovereign nation of their resources simply to make a point. A big America, Fuck Yeah point.
Do you see it? Do you see what writer Chris Morgan has done here? He has taken the glossy, candy coated exterior of the Fast franchise and used it to mask a cleverly disguised satire of American foreign policy. He has turned candy into a vegetable, people, and turned a movie ostensibly about fast cars into something good for you. He has educated America's Heartland about their shoddy international practices without anyone even noticing. Pay close enough attention and I'm pretty certain you'll see some secret School Of The Americas handshakes in there and, good God, I'm pretty certain I spotted Ollie North lurking in the background of a few shots.
So there you have it, folks. It's time to end this arbitrary division of "Original" and "Adapted" and the way to do it is to give both awards to a single film. Fast Five for Best Adapted Screenplay.
[Support the Fast Five Oscar Watch: Tweet the hashtag #ConsiderFast5]
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......ok, i can't tell if you guys are messing with us or not anymore.
don't get me wrong, i really liked Fast Five (way more than stupid Drive). but you're telling us that it's worthy of at least five Oscars. i dunno, something about that seems.....fishy.
and what made you focus so much attention on Fast Five anyway?
Really? You can't tell?
Rollin and trollin
You've got all this totally wrong. It's not just based on "real life", it's clearly a documentary complete with shaky-cam 'n' all. They ignored Senna but surely can make way for this. Or at least docu-drama, it can pass for that, right?
Oh and I LOVE the sky in the posters - I kind of subtle allusion to the 'blue sky thinking' that went into this pioneering movie event.
This is one of the funniest running jokes on Twitch for since I can remember.
Can't wait until the argument for lifetime achievement award is made.
Running joke? What running joke?
Although this one article was meant to be a bit ironic, all of the other Oscar considerations for "Fast Five" were totally honest and from the heart. Just wait till we get to "best actress".