It's still bad.I wonder sometimes if Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez really understood what they were kicking off when they embarked on their Grindhouse project. Since the days that project was announced scores of filmmakers - most of whom weren't even born when the original grindhouse movement was in swing - have cranked out low budget, deliberate grindhouse throwbacks. Most of these intentionally embed 'flaws' in the name of 'authenticity'. Any weaknesses in filmmaking technique are explained away with a shrug and a "Hey, it's grindhouse. It's supposed to be bad."
I have watched scores of these films. They are almost universally unwatchable to all but those who made them. They're not funny. They're not clever. They're just plain bad movies and I want people to stop making them. Stop explaining away your shitty technique with "Hey, it's supposed to be that way!" Because all you're doing with that argument is proving you don't understand the original movement at all.
Because, you see, no movie that was intentionally created to be bad has ever gone on to find an audience. Movies made to be bad are just plain shitty and nobody likes watching that. No serious, professional filmmaker ever set out to make a bad movie. Not one. They all set out to make the best movies they could under the circumstances they were presented with. It's the struggle to be good that gives them their vitality and their continuing drawing power. When they're funny it's not because they wanted to be bad - it's because they tried to be good and missed so badly. Even Ed Wood believed he was making art.
You cannot make a Plan Nine From Outer Space on purpose. This is why I haven't bothered to cover the upcoming remake. I don't give a damn. You cannot replicate the goofiness of the original and there isn't enough there to make a truly good film. So why bother? You can't make The Room on purpose. You can't make Birdemic on purpose. You simply cannot. And the unifying factor among the people who have made these films is that they generally don't realize why people actually like them.
You know why Hobo With A Shotgun is good? Because Jason Eisener made the best damn movie he could with the resources he had without ever once jumping up and down shouting "Look at me! I'm GRINDHOUSE!" You know why Black Dynamite is so damn great? Because Michael Jai White and Scott Sanders made a film that celebrated the stuff they love instead of mocking the weaknesses of the original genre.
I'm tired of watching your shitty-on-purpose movies. Life is too short to waste on shit whether intentional or not. Stop sending them to me. The next screener I receive for a film shot on cheap video with a bad digital overlay put on it to simulate the scratches of old 16mm film I am going to burn. In fire. The next time someone sends me a film with a 'missing reel' I'm going to beat it with a hammer. You want to impress me? I'm not impressed by your immense sense of irony. I'm not impressed by your ability to make shit. Anybody can do that. Impress me by making something good.
You, sir, are the man.
I hereby pledge that if / when someone sends me a movie that I feel compelled to burn I will post pictures here.
The only time in the past few years I've seen "deliberate damage" work as it was supposed to was in the documentary "Video Nasties: The Definite Guide" which used the dreaded VHS (and BetaMax) noise in several fade-outs. In that film it was done so amazingly well that I really got a hippie flashback to the early eighties.
Other than that: ooooooold joke...
Thank god someone else feels the same way. I really don't think Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez really knew the can of worms they opened.
All I can do is hope that something else catches on that makes the faux grindhouse crud go away.
I hear you on this one. It's not like low-budget horror ever went anywhere but people seem to think adding an extra coat of shit makes it better.
This is great. I've been saying that ever since I walked out of Grindhouse with a shrug and a lighter wallet. You can't make a movie with millions of dollars and a star powered cast and expect it to retain any of the joy and purpose of a low budget film. Film grain doesn't equal heart.
Plenty of people disagree with me, but I felt that was one of the major problems with Kill Bill actually. Not at all that it was shitty, it's a technically gorgeous film... But that it lacked a certain desperation and seat of the pants feel that you could find in 70's and 80's Japanese and Chinese cinema.
Intentional or not, Birdemic feels definitely half-assed - and thats just as bad. The film is dull and tried too cash in on its crapitude way too early.
Otherwise, I heartily agree with this. I see so many films unnecessarily add print damage to their film. It was entertaining in Planet Terror, but has been incredibly obnoxious in nearly everything else I've seen it in.
I agree completely you.
It´s about time to stop with this, and try make good movies.
I agree, however i did enjoy Death Proof and Planet Terror but the other shit that gets released after is just not worth it, and i hate movies that have that cheap video look with bad sound, enough already...
I'm really enjoying these "editorial" pieces you've been dishing out lately. They're like comfort food amidst a menu of haute cuisine.
Amen.
I started reading this expecting to disagree but wound up agreeing whole heartedly...The thing that is important is "authenticity." I loved Planet Terror and Death Proof...Both felt like they were made with genuine love for the material. Machete felt like it was made out of obligation and in my opinion was more like mediocre straight to dvd crap... Hobo with a Shotgun works because it's full of outrageous ideas,spirit and smarts-the life blood of cult films. Jason Eisener is coming from a GENUINE place. I blame the over saturation of irony...Do you love it because you think it's great or do you love it because you think "It's so shitty" An entire generation can't tell the difference. I'm not against Grindhouse revival..we need it now like we needed it in the 70's-people are just too fuckin' uptight. Grindhouse may have wrought a bunch of hipster dicks making shit films about a genre they don't get but it also made possible Crank 2,Drive Angry,Pirana 3D,and Hobo with a Shotgun, and the awesome Demonitron trailer-It's worth it. if you don't genuinely know and love your material-Don't bother. This isn't your field. It's not the "old film" veneer that matters-It's the heart.
Well played sir. Well played indeed.
I have yet to see Hobo with a Shotgun. But for my money, Planet Terror, Death Proof and Black Dynamite have been the only movies made recently that have been able to pull off the old school Grindhouse/exploitation feel with authenticity and quality to boot. Black Dynamite being the best of the bunch.
Mack told me this was up. I have actually been futzing with a piece about the same exact thing. prepare for companion ranting, hahaha.