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So... ten years ago we Star Wars fans were picking up the pieces of what had been a close-knit community a scant few weeks earlier. "Episode One: The Phantom Menace" had arrived and had split the fanbase into more different factions than "Return of the Jedi" had ever managed. Forget whether or not you liked Ewoks, now we had Jar-Jar Binks to worry about...
Today, we have groups of fans being "Lucas Apologists" , or "Prequel Deniers", and even the dreaded "Lucas-Raped-My-Childhood Victims" (although these can again be split into "Prequel Caused", "Special-Edition Caused" and "DVD-Release Caused"...).
Me, I'm a staunch fan of the holy trilogy. The original first one from the Seventies and Eighties. Han shot first, dammit!
And while I like bits and pieces of the prequels and am glad to have seen them all in the cinema, I do also think they are staggering disappointments that don't hold a candle to what had come before.
There are many reasons for this, but I'll run with a fun one today and do a what-if concerning the director's side. What if George Lucas had concentrated on the look of the film as much as he did, but had allowed someone else to direct? Someone who is a better so-called "actor's director" than Lucas?
After the break is my list of directors who I'd have liked to tackle the prequels... and feel free to join in with your own choices!
Rules first: the directors I mention should have been alive, of workable age and somewhat known during the time the movie was made. It should be feasible that George Lucas had heard of these people when he made the decision to direct. This also means I can use people who were still alive back then...
Seriously, I think the prequels are marred by the singular (tunnel-)vision of George Lucas. Some outside creative input might have greatly improved them. But in 1998, who could force Lucas to change anything? Very few, I dare say. And his movies suffered from it.
Episode I: The Phantom Menace
I see the first prequel as a children's movie, first and foremost. The whole point is to introduce the very young Anakin, and the kid who has to play him has some stiff scenes in front of him. There is a war going on too, and a race of sorts, but those parts will be closely supervised by Lucas and the effects crew anyway, so let's focus on the acting and specifically the child's acting.
Possible nominees:
Steven Spielberg.
Didn't see this one coming, did you? Few people can be said to have a better grasp of both children's acting and special effects. I've always wondered what went through his mind when watching Phantom Menace, made by his good friend George, and seeing the stiffness of all actors.
Richard Donner.
Another director with a good grasp of special effects and big-budgeted crowdpleasers, but can he direct children? Well, he sure managed good enough with "The Goonies".
Cameron Crowe.
This guy knows how to get memorable performances out of everyone, and his films always contain a certain timing and wit. These are things that were much, MUCH needed for the first prequel.
Episode II: Attack of the Clones
This one is the big romantic epic of the three, with Amidala and Anakin falling in "lurve". The important thing here is to show believable chemistry. After all, this is the love that will be used as a lever to "turn" Anakin towards the dark side later on,so the two should positively sizzle on screen! At the same time it ends with an almost ludicrously ambitious battlescene.
Let's see... romantic epic. Hmmm...
Irvin Kershner.
After the first prequel's mixed reception, what would have sent a bigger thrill through the fans than the announcement that the director of "The Empire Strikes Back" would helm the second one? That film's mixture of epic war and the budding romance between Han Solo and Leia is one of the most beloved in movie history. This would have restored hope for a good trilogy in an instant.
James Cameron.
No way in hell that this was going to happen, but then again maybe he wouldn't turn down the chance to do Star Wars. Can you just imagine what this would have become? No, I didn't think the couple in "Titanic" did much sizzling, but there certainly was chemistry enough to make it work, so why not for the second prequel? Also, Cameron would have insisted on some much-needed plugging of major plotholes.
Ang Lee.
After "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" became such a monstrous success, I think in 2001 you couldn't find a hotter director to create your romantic epic. Just wonder how this might have turned out. In tears, probably, but oh if this had worked...
Episode III: Revenge of the Sith
Here is the big one: Anakin becomes Darth Vader. From hero to the pinnacle of villainy in the space of one movie, who can depict such an utter fall from grace? George Lucas, of course! Well, he thought so. But who could do it in a BELIEVABLE way, such that it evokes an EMOTIONAL RESONANCE in the audience?
Francis Ford Coppola.
He did maybe the most legendary fall from grace in his "The Godfather" and especially "The Godfather: Part II". And he is a good friend of Lucas so a collaboration between the two might seem possible.
David Fincher.
Again a director who has proven to be uncannily skillful with both special effects and actors. And after "Se7en" and "Fight Club" who could doubt his ability to give Anakin a believable mental breakdown. The emergence of Darth Vader would have looked awesome under Fincher.
Park Chan Wook.
Yes, in 2003 "Oldboy" was making major waves and "Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance" had high credit in the arthouse scene. Park Chan Wook had entered the international market and was there to stay. And he can make any fall from grace awesome.
So, anyone willing to react? And ehm... am I now banned from the ranch?
i wonder what Bong Joon-ho would have done with the crime-thriller-conspiracy aspect of Attack Of The Clowns ... i mean, Clones.
Sammo Hung came very close to serving as action director for the prequels in real life. It could only have helped, but they still wouldn't be particularly good movies.
For Episode One I'll take Hayao Miyazaki working in live action. A cheat.
For Episode Two, I think Ridley Ip of JUST ONE LOOK could have made that retarded love story sort of work. Alternately, Stephen Fung, based on HOUSE OF FURY for the same reasons, plus he's got Action Experience.
For Episode Three - Stanley Kubrick. With a time machine, that's how.
Bonus semi-pertinent tangent: Kim Ji-Woon for INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL.
Episode 1: Ang Lee
Episode 2: Paul Verhoven
Episode 3: David Cronenberg
Ang Lee is a pretty inspired choice Ard, but I'd have him for the first one.
agree with Chevalier. which kid in any galaxy far far away says "Yippeee!"? and of course, the infamous "younglings."
btw, as i said somewhere else, i think Christopher Nolan would be perfect for Ep III.
I know I'm going to get pulled apart for this but I think the new trilogy had all the great elements of a greek tragedy.
The only problem with them, apart from being aimed at kids, was that it was left to fester for over a decade and all the CGI and special effects isolated the new trilogy from the old.
However, would I have liked a 1986 Phantom Menace?
Shoulder pads on Jedi, playing electric drum kits?
No thank you.
I definitely agree Lucas hashed the direction, but I don't think any other director would have saved your childhood.
Remember, the older we get, the more cynical we become.
Oh, and Greedo shot first...
While I agree that Spielberg would have been a good choice the man has gotten pussyfied over the years and lost the set of balls he had. He's all about family now and refuses to do a story where the family falls apart without it getting back together.
Chevalier nails it. Though to be fair, Lucas only wrote the final screenplay of "Star Wars" - which is one of the reasons why "Empire" and "Return" were better, and also one of the reasons the prequels were so bad.
Some of the selections thus far have been great, I particularly like Ang Lee for II and David Fincher (or Christopher Nolan) for III. I think James Cameron has similar troubles as Lucas (technically brilliant, but has trouble with 'heart' material) so he should probably sit this one out.
My additions:
Alejandro Jodorowsky for ep I (thus making it NOT a kids film)
Luc Besson for ep II (or maybe Baz Luhrman) (thus giving us Romance with a side of action)
Paul Verhoeven for ep III (thus giving us rage, sex and obsession)
though, dear God, make sure the script gets doctored!
Ard, it's a fair argument. But for ep. 2 the emphasis should be on the romance first. 'Titanic' being Cameron's example of 'heart first' material, I rule him out in favor of other directors who are better at plumbing the depths than he is.
(This was not to read as a slam on Cameron, given the right arena he's got great chops)
oh - and Guillermo del Toro would have been an interesting choice for episode 1 also.
My pick: Takashi Miike to direct the 3 prequels, Dead or Alive style, with Anakin and Obi Wan destroying the entire universe with a big explosion.
Episode 1 - John Boorman, because you know it would have been much more delightfully weird and less 'digital' if Boorman were at the helm
Episode 2 - Bernardo Bertolucci (C'mon you want to see a Bertolucci Star Wars film - "Amidala, pass me the Nerf-butter")
Episode 3 - The tragic fall of a hero, the rise of villainy, body destruction! Cyborg Rebirth! I think I'd pay very good money to see Shinya Tsukamoto's Star Wars closing (er mid-point, whatever) chapter on the six films.
Also, at the risk of rubbing my beloved DUNE film out of existence, seeing David Lynch's REVENGE OF THE JEDI would have been creepy-awesome!
Furthermore, everyone wants to see a Woody Allen Star Wars. Fact. It would even smooth over the cinematic chasm of Annie Hall (deservedly) taking Oscar in '77.
actually a Woody Allen STar Wars would be great, especially Episode IV.
Vader and Kenobi would not have a lightsabre duel. they'd just ... er ... talk. and talk. and talk.
No one gone for Darabont for episode 2?
How about Gaspar Noe for Revenge of the Sith?
Obi Wan smashing Anakins head open with a fire extinguisher
and a 20 min rape scene for Padme.
MPAA would love it.
Oh wait, Kurt already mentioned Tsukamoto. I'm a crappy skimmer.
Lucas likes him the yes-men, so if he really wanted to hire someone else they would be director-for-hire types. The mediocre would be Brett Ratner, Paul Anderson, or Rob Cohen. The okay, sometimes good would be Tony Scott or Peter Berg. Whoever it is, all their decisions would go through Lucas.
Since half of you guys don't know the first thing about actually making a movie...
You gotta take into account that there must be a good Director of Photography working with a fight/stunt coordinator to make the action look good: awesome choreography on static shots will look like crap, no matter how good the head Director is.
I believe if you had a Star Wars film directed by JJ Abrams with Larry Fong as the D.P. (he's the guy who made 300 look so amazing) you'd have a pretty solid Star Wars film. As a stunt coordintor - Brad Martin (Underworld movies) or Chad Stahelski (the Matrix) would be top choice as they know both sides of the camera and have a great martial arts background.
Other choice directors would probably be Zack Snyder, Christopher Nolan and Gulliermo Del Toro.
zkazma, not sure if you were being sarcastic or snooty, but the perspective most of us (if I may speak on their behalf) is from an artistic standpoint, the technical points are more or less a given. We want depth to go along with the fighting and the CGI fury.
I'm still thrilled by the idea of David Lynch sneakily doing "Revenge of the Jedi" instead of "Revenge of the Sith". In my head it plays like this:
Mace Windu: "Die, bitch!"
Palpatine: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
As both struggle, their force powers balancing each other out, Anakin makes the right decision and slays Palpatine.
Next: a red room. Yoda walks in, backwards, from behind a curtain. He goes all the way to the camera until all you see is the back of his head. Then he turns around and his eyes look straight into the audience for a minute.
Then he utters the following words...
Yoda: "Never happened, the original trilogy did!"
:-S
Ard,
add a hairy monster in the back alley of Tattooine, and two lesbians. then we have a Lynchian Star Wars.
How about John McTiernan? Or Renny Harlin? And have Joel Silver producing? Oh and get Joe Esterhaz to rewrite the script? Result - crass one-liners, violent deaths, a touch of misogyny, sleazy sex and some really, really big explosions. Surely exactly the kind of Star Wars sequel we wanted in 1998.
Slightly off topic, but can I just say something about the whole "Han shot first" thing? I was chatting with a friend about this last week and we felt that not only did it tarnish the whole image of Solo but it totally destroys any baddass credentials Greedo has as a bountyhunter. He misses from point-blank range? Was he drunk? Did Jabba think, oh god there's that cock-eyed idiot Greedo, everytime he wandered into the room?
If you watch the first "Greedo shot first" version it also looks awkward beyond belief! They cleaned it up considerably for the DVD versions, but that first one... man. Han dislocates his neck and Greedo fires almost straight up in the roof.
No matter how necessary Lucas thought the change to be, it was executed (haha) in a disastrous way. For a moment I thought Han didn't shoot at all and Greedo was caught by his own ricochet!
(Whoops, let's not give Lucas any ideas...)
Revenge of the Sith was fine enough as it is. The problems were mainly clunky lines, bits of obvious homages, and contrived plot turns. But it certainly had the most moral and thematic resonance in the series; to me, it was the exact point where, I felt, the whole Star Wars really grew up into something more pertinent. So, that was alright.
I also feel this was my favourite in the series - am I banned from the ranch, as well ?
( Though the original trilogy is the most polished, definitely : I certainly find ' A New Hope' to be a very significant benchmark in every way; far edgier and subversive than anyone ever gave it credit for. Yet, it became a lot sillier, goofier, and more plasticized from that point ( Boba Fett practically got reduced into detritus ), w/c just keeps me at a distance. Took this latest one to get everything back in line, and show that this whole thing actually has a point.... )
P.S. Steven Spielberg guest-directed in Revenge of the Sith esp. the fantastic fight scene between Palpatine and Yoda in the Senate halls....
Episodes 1-3 were absolutely awful, especially ep.1. The most laughable is midichlorians...
Kurt: I think he was just being a snooty ass.