Fantastic Fest 2013: Mattie Do Drunkenly Reviews Mattie Do's CHANTHALY

Todd told me that I have to do Biogno a critic of my film is fucking CALL CHANTHALY FIGO FIGISSIMO ! No, instead , my film a movie seems very slow and a little artistic ... communque me and I did not like the movie " artistic " ( did you see the "" "" ? ) Actually, artistic film is for all the envelopes showers ... CAPISCIE ? ! ? ! Envelopes SHOWER !

So, my movies and fucking breaks and slaying because there MANGO -dog (dog) , the super greyhound. What the fuck I mean ... I do not remember ... or , I took many by JAMES VODKA with Twitchfilm ... and he is my POMPOM GIRL for this critical ... I mean I do not remember k dick of my film ... oh God ...

or ... CHANTHALY is the primero horror film in LAOS ... LAOS dove'é you know ? There is no one knows where he fucking LAOS ! ! is a country with communists (oh my God I Maddonna fucking sucks ) and I AM the primera WOMAN who made a LONG fucking cool in laos . A LONG HORROR ( splits , hey ?) . I mean that is a CHANTHALY KILL FIGGHISSIMO film for Europe because it is very slow ( as you like in europe Cagni ) then .... I want a uhhh ... like you said ... a time for all Italians ... the Spagni , the ... even if fucking French to see the MY FILM of LAOS . If you do not like it, FOTTITITI ( vuoldire fuck yourself in inglse ) because I did it with all my heart and all my soul FOR YOU! SOLMENTE FOR YOU! IF YOU DO NOT LIKE , MAKES ME cry ... I'm not TEARS is my first time working with a director.

HELLO NASTY BABES ! CIAO to all my friends in SPERIMIENTALE CENTER OF CINEMATOGRAPHY . I was a fucking truccatrista Cinesa (but Verman , no person Cinesa , are LAOS ) and looks, I did a long ... wait for me because I want to make a second lung better, more cool , more fucking splits so cool ! ! and maybe I can go to the fest again for fantastic .... for ... I do not remember what the fuck I'm writing ... a critic of CHNATHALY .

shit, madonna LOOK AT MY FUCKING MOVIE OF LAOS ! ! YOU know dove'e LAOS ? I never thought of you know. for all cornutti , I DID ! FOTTITITI ! I DID and wait for my second ~ ~ ! fuck dove'e the ase god ... I can not write more . Chanthaly dnonna was a most beautiful and lean all the actor Amerikan ... wtf I do not know what the fuck to write again ... then ... write what the fuck ? DIMMIE scrivando the fuck am I ? ! ? ! ? then ... my dog, MANGO or Mu ... MOOO is the best in my film ... maybe that my boss there vergongno because I do not know what the fuck I write .....

wtf ... wtf .... I need another spettaacolo JAMES BY DRINKING A LITTLE MORE OF VODKA JAMES ! I drink only .. (Five hahahahaha ) then ... appearance .... I want you to really enjoy my movie / long CHANTHALY ... if you do not like it, I want you to like my dog and asppetti the next MANGO DOG FILM because maybe my next film goes fIGHO ! FIGHO ! FIGO ! fuck ... I want to vomit.

oh peter 's sleep is if vomiting in the bathroom makes me ashamed .... I finished . listen ... if you like my movies , I love you VERY much ! ! if you do not like it, I know it is because the fantasme ( MOBY DICK ) or cow dressed . THE HATE ME ! The cow dressed ( or phatasme in white clothes ) has its own cagnia ... and she vorrebe FUCK because I hate her . doppo five glasses of vodka ... I mean what the fuck , I forgot ... I LOVE YOU ! THANK YOU SO MUCH ! Go see my long or MOVIE !
CIAO bitches .

[Given that this is now the third year they have appeared in the pages of Twitch, I suppose it can be said that drunken self reviews are now a Fantastic Fest tradition. Here's how it works. We sit down with the director and pour out (typically) five shots, though some allowance may be made for body mass. The director then has fifteen minutes to drink the shots. We pause a moment to allow the alcohol to hit the bloodstream, after which the director has thirty minutes to write a review of their own movie in their own language explaining why their movie is the greatest movie ever made. We then take the results and run them through Google Translate, publishing whatever comes out without any editing whatsoever. Lao helmer Mattie Do joined us for some tasty vodka.
Around the Internet:
  • Izzy Lee

    Hilarious.

  • This may be the most epic one of these we've ever run.

  • Kurt

    Was this one typed or transcribed from audio?!

  • marshy00

    She typed it in Italian and then it was pasted into Google Translate. It's wonderfully ranty.

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