Twitch Poll: The "Worst Horror Remake Ever"

When I say "horror remake," you say "yuck," right? Probably, and in most cases I'd certainly agree. But if we have to muddle through five or six pieces of junk to discover and then savor David Cronenberg's The Fly, John Carpenter's The Thing, and (hell yeah) Chuck Russell's The Blob -- then that's a sacrifice the serious horror fan is prepared to make. It was during a typically geeky conversation with my pal Russell "Rusty" Gordon that a fun idea for a new "Weinberg's List" was born:

The "Worst Horror Remake Ever" Poll.

The goal of this project is to: A) give the Internet one central master list of all the American horror remakes imaginable, B) ascertain (through the combined power of Twitch & Twitter) which horror remakes are the absolute lamest, and C) argue, whine, and opine about horror remakes to anyone who'll listen.

So in the comments section below, we ask that you give us your FIVE WORST choices from the following list. If "Rusty" and I left out any key remakes, let us know that as well -- although do keep in mind that we used 1998 as our "modern era" starting point, which is why you also won't find movies like The Fly, The Thing, and The Blob down there: they're too old! (But for the sake of keeping a true "master list" once this poll is done with, feel free to offer any horror remake suggestions you like.)

So there: brace yourself for general awfulness, scan the list below, and offer your FIVE WORST votes below. And then go tweet about this article to any horror geeks you know. (Thanks!)

13 Ghosts (2001)
2001 Maniacs (2005)
Amityville Horror, The (2005)
And Soon the Darkness (2010)
April Fools Day (2008)
Black Christmas (2006) *
Cabinet of Dr. Caligari (2005) *
Carnival of Souls (1998)
Crazies, The (2010)
Dark Water (2005)
Dawn of the Dead (2004)
Day of the Dead (2008)
Don't Look Up
(2009) *
Echo, The (2008) *
Experiment, The (2010)
Eye, The (2008)
Fog, The (2005)
Friday the 13th (2009)
Funny Games (2007)
Grudge, The (2004)
Halloween
(2007) *
Haunting, The (1999)
Hills Have Eyes, The (2006)
Hitcher, The (2007)
House of Wax (2005)
House on Haunted Hill, The (1999)
I Am Legend (2007)
I Spit on your Grave (2010)
It's Alive (2008)
Last House on the Left, The (2009)
Let Me In (2010)
Mirrors (2008)
My Bloody Valentine (2009)
Nature's Grave (2008)
Night of the Demons (2009)
Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006) *
Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010)
Omen, The (2006)
One Missed Call (2008)
Piranha (2010)
Prom Night (2008)
Psycho (1998)
Pulse (2006)
Quarantine (2008)
Ring, The (2003)
Shutter (2008)
Sisters (2006)
Sorority Row (2009)
Stepfather, The (2009)
Texas Chainsaw Massacre, The (2003)
Toolbox Murders, The (2003)
Uninvited, The (2009)
When a Stranger Calls (2006)
Wicker Man, The (2006)
Willard
(2003) *
Wizard of Gore, The (2007)
Wolfman, The (2010)


* Added. Thanks to our commenters.

Around the Internet:
  • sarkoffagus

    I can't list films because they're poor remakes because it's not easy determining why I liked or disliked such a film. If I liked the original, the chances of liking the remake are minimal, and even if it's good, certain elements won't seem as good simply because they're just not the same. And if a remake strays far from the original, it might work, but then why was the first film remade? The Dawn of the Dead remake is more an action film than horror and negates Romero's satirical edge. Is it good? Sure. Is it a good remake? Not really. Also, if I hate the original, then it's hard not to blame the wretchedness of a remake on its source. So here's my list of films that are remakes and that I don't like:

    Sisters (2006)

    April Fools Day (2008)

    It's Alive (2008)

    Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)

    Halloween (2007)

    And I agree with Kurt that The Wicker Man is just too funny to be included as one of the worst. I intentionally leave my apple pies in the oven too long, so I can repeatedly ask my wife, "How'd it burned?! How'd it get burned?!"

  • Neil

    The Fog

    I Am Legend

    The Wicker Man

    Pirahna

    The Haunting

  • Brian

    Can I just vote for A Nightmare on Elm Street five times?? If not:

    A Nightmare on Elm Street

    Psycho

    Friday the 13th

    Dark Water

    The Grudge

  • Maxì

    I say:

    - I am Legend

    - The Crazies

    - Nightmare on Elm St.

    - Night of the living dead 3d (awful!)

    - Wicker Man

  • hi5hatecrime

    The Grudge

    Psycho

    Nightmare On Elm Street

    I Am Legend

    The Vanishing

  • Sean "The Butcher" Smithson

    The TCM remake looks like a SLipknot video.

    That said, you know, I was recently down with the flu, and decided to re-watch (dont ask why) the NOES remake. It played better the second time around. Then again I was on pain pills as well. LOL.

    I was able to kind of imagine it as if it were it's own beast and a totally new thing though, and it worked a lot better for me.

    There is no excuse for RZ's HALLOWEEN films though. None.

  • https://www.google.com/account

    1)Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010)

    2)Day of the Dead (2008)

    3)I Am Legend (2007)

    4)Wolfman, The (2010)

    5)Crazies, The (2010)

  • ian.sowers

    I'm happy to see that I've missed many of the remakes that people are singling out. Of the ones I have seen, these five are my least favorite:

    BLACK CHRISTMAS

    DAY OF THE DEAD

    THE FOG

    A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET

    WHEN A STRANGER CALLS

  • Alex M

    i disagree with the THE RING statement, I thought it was favorable.

    i gotta say, watching the EYE, i couldn't believe I sat through it,

    i think it was definitely because of alba's looks...

    they completely whimped out on the ending which made the original

    so completely morbid.

  • Alex M

    i disagree with the THE RING statement, I thought it was favorable.

    i gotta say, watching the EYE, i couldn't believe I sat through it,

    i think it was definitely because of alba's looks...

    they completely whimped out on the ending which made the original

    so completely morbid.

  • Zimb

    Carnival of Souls (1998)

    Halloween (2007)

    Nightmare on Elm Street, A (2010)

    Wicker Man, The (2006)

    Day of the Dead (2008)

  • Ard Vijn

    Is that a real poster, by the way? With "From the makers of Holloween" on it?

  • brettlv5506

    I have to point out that the god awful tv version of The Shining should be number one no matter what, but out of what is given I choose

    1. The Wicker Man (so terrible)

    2. Psycho

    3. I am Legend

    4. Halloween

    5. Wolfman

  • Niels Matthijs

    I believe I must be the only person in the world who actually liked the Psycho remake better than the original.

  • Saltoner

    THE WORST

    Psycho

    Halloween

    The Fog

    House of Wax

    House On Haunted Hill

    THE BEST

    The Hills Have Eyes

    Dawn of the Dead

    13 Ghosts (I liked the concept, but the execution could have been a bit better)

  • iainl

    Hmm. Where do we stand on Dawn Of The Remade Dead, people? On Zack Snyder's throat? Or do we like it? It's simultaneously trashing most that was good about the original (the social comment, and the false sense of security that sets in when you realise how lame an enemy one or two zombies on their own are, only to have them overwhelmed by inevitability once the bikers let loads of the things in) but also pretty decent when divorced from the weight of expectation, and almost certainly the closest Snyder has come to making a good film.

  • J Hurtado

    I really like that one, and I was very opposed to it in theory. I wasn't even going to watch it, but when I did, I found myself very engaged and enjoying the action.

  • Ji Doctor

    Ok, not seen a lot of these, but for my money the Elm Street, Halloween and Friday 13th remakes were dreadful and completely pointless apart from reasons of easy money. Quarantine pissed me off with the makers with no mention of [REC] at all on the dvd. This may be for stupid reasons but still strikes me as shitty (like their film). Last but not least, could only muster the first half hour of The Wolfman. Completely uninspired.

    Looking at the list, there's not that many classics left untarnished. Here's hoping they leave Re-Animator, Suspiria etc well alone but that Hollywood well is pretty dry these days.

  • J Hurtado

    I gotta say I'm surprised at some people's choices for the worst. I'm going to qualify my list by saying that these are the films I enjoyed the least. Even some of the really awful ones are a lot of fun, but the following aren't even that:

    Psycho

    Day of the Dead

    One Missed Call (though, to be fair, the original wasn't that great either)

    Friday the 13th

    The Fog

  • edetein

    A better subject of conversation would be "What Is The Best Horror Remake Ever" as the accurate answer to "the worst horror remake ever?" would be "nearly all horror movie remakes."

  • iainl

    How are we doing this? Because there are the five worst films in their own right (headed by Day of the Dead, probably), the five films that most pointlessly ruin their original film's premise by missing the point of what made it great (hello A Nightmare On Elm Street, I think), and those where the original was so unutterably perfect that there mere suggestion that you could improve them should condemn everyone involved as ludicrously convinced of their own genius. By which I mean Rob Zombie's Halloween.

    So, top that list out with the pointless Omen and Last House On The Left remakes, and we've got five.

  • Kurt Halfyard

    I'd offer 5 PRETTY-DARN-GOOD remakes on that list above: The Ring, Funny Games, Let Me In, The Crazies and Dark Water.

  • Kurt Halfyard

    I think DAY OF THE DEAD has that beat by a country mile. I'd say Neil Labute's WICKER MAN, if the film wasn't so hilariously over-the-top silly. Steve Miner's DotD is soul-crushingly awful. As I tend to skip most of these, in order to round out a "5", I'll add I Am Legend, I Spit on Your Grave and Pulse.

  • phil

    Off the top of my head, some that are missing:



    "The Vanishing"

    "Night Watch"

    "The Lift" (All three remade by the original directors)

    Savini's "Night of the Living Dead"

    "Night of the Living Dead 3D"

    "The Mummy"

    "Body Snatchers"

    "The Invasion"

    "Nadja"

    "Carrie" (made for tv)

    "Salems Lot" (made for tv)

    "Black Christmas"

    "The Echo" (also made by the originals director)

    "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari"

    "Village of the Damned"

    "Possession" (Not horror but marketed as such)

    If you are including " I Am Legend" then you could just as easily include "Mary Shelley's Frankenstein" and "Bram Stoker's Dracula".

  • russell.leegordon

    Black Christmas was on the earlier drafts. Must of been removed somehow accidentally. You're right, it definitely should be on there.

    As for the rest you point out being left off, that is covered in the opening when Scott mentions that our starting year for the list is 1998.

  • russell.leegordon

    Actually, the after 1998 umbrella doesn't quite cover all the omissions you mentioned so let me tackle those now.

    Did not count made for TV movies.

    The Mummy was discussed, but ultimately considered more an adventure film than horror.

    Similarly, The Invasion is more sci-fi.

    The Echo should of made the list. For that you can load ten pounds of shame on my back.

    Hope you will contribute to the fun. What are your bottom 5?

  • phil

    Ooops!

    For some reason I read that as 1989. Must have been the three 80's remakes mentioned that threw me.

    I agree on both "The Mummy" and "The Invasion", I only mentioned them as both are remakes of films that regularly turn up on greatest ever horror lists.

    "Night of The Living Dead 3D" and "The Cabinet of Dr. Caligary" also come after your cut off date. I also forgot to mention Fruit Chan's execrable "Don't Look Up".



    My bottom 5:

    "Night of the Living Dead 3D"

    "The Haunting"

    "Prom Night"

    "Don't Look Up"

    "Funny Games"

  • Agent Orange

    The Fog at least has Maggie Grace (hot). Nightmare on Elm Street was by far the biggest snoozer yet.

  • bewarethemoon

    DAy of the Dead remake has got to be the worst remake I've ever seen, I thought it was comedy for a moment, but realised the truly awful acting was for real. What made it worse was that Nik Cannon happens to be MY name, which always galls me even more when I see my namesake has ruined one of the best zombie films ever made! the production values were dismal, infact it's probably one of the worst films I've only partially seen, I turned off the TV in disgust. Zack Snyders DAwn of the Dead wasn't too bad, but I just don't get why they keep remaking classics, badly, when the target audience haven't seen the original ones and have no interest in them anyway.

    The first Ring remake was actually quite decent I thought.

    Haven't seen the Fog remake, won't bother, will be very interested to see the remake of the THING when it arrives

  • mvario.myopenid.com

    Wicker Man, The (2006)

    Fog, The (2005)

    I Am Legend (2007)

    Halloween (2007)

    When a Stranger Calls (2006)

  • Ard Vijn

    No Rob Zombie Halloween 2? Or isn't that a remake?

  • Scott Weinberg

    NOBODY vote until I add Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN on there! Ack! It's on my bottom 5.

  • I Spit on your Grave

    Halloween

    Friday the 13th

    13 Ghosts

    Psycho

    ...probably offended me the most, quite difficult though as I realised even as someone who watches horror a lot I avoided most of the above pretty well. I actually enjoyed The Crazies remake more than the original and though not exactly life defining 2001 Maniacs had a hyper silly spirit and a fun Robert Englund.

  • Niels Matthijs

    Eye, The

    Piranha

    Quarantine

    Ring, The

    Wolfman, The

    Mind, these are not the worst movies of the list, just the worst remakes. Most of the original films from the list above are just as crap as their remakes.

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